Friday, November 23, 2012

Songs About Booze: Volume 1

Those of us at West Toast clearly appreciate wine, beer, and spirits. Enough so, in fact, that we share with the world various forms of praise in this here online publication. While the average consumer is content to simply imbibe something and selfishly relish in its deliciousness to themselves, we go beyond that by expending energy, time, and effort (sometimes). I'll get back to this in a minute.

Fast forward to yesterday. Josh indicated that he was having an especially rough day and asked what type of beverage he should have. While I would normally fire off a beer or wine, the first thing that came to my head was to make a piña colada. Nobody can be in a bad mood with a piña colada in front of them. But why do I think that? Sure, they're delicious, but something else has to contribute to the novelty equating them to fun.

It didn't occur to me until I was in the shower this morning that Rupert Holmes' "Escape (If You Like Pina Coladas)" had been stuck in my head since the night before.

Then it really hit me; sure we write stupid articles about booze, but tons of people write entire songs about it. I won't lie, I've never at any point been so inspired by a drink that I felt I needed to write a song about it. Well, I suppose the only caveat is making my own version of the "Scotchy Scotch Scotch" song from Anchorman, but that doesn't count.

So for the first time in West Toast history, I'd like to dedicate the next few paragraphs giving praise to songs that praise alcoholic beverages. If it still sounds coherent by the time I wrap up, I may explore this again in the future.

Rupert Holmes - Escape (If You Like Pina Coladas)

I already mentioned this one, so I'll start with it first. What has largely been reduced to a karaoke favorite, the lyrics of this song are actually somewhat sweet. A guy gets tired of his boring relationship, so he looks in the singles ads for somebody who might be more exciting. Turns out, the exciting new woman he finds was his ex all along and they never shared that they enjoyed piña coladas, rain, and early morning sex. That said, nobody actually knows that because we're all too busy drunkenly yelling "IF YOU LIKE PINA COLAAAADAAS." Deep down somewhere I'm sure Mr. Holmes is ok with that because I'm pretty sure he would have never written the song had he not thought, "god damn I loves me some piña coladas."

Reel Big Fish - Beer

I wasn't a huge ska fan back in the day, but I certainly enjoyed a few bands and Reel Big Fish was no exception. Made especially popular by the greatest film of all time, Basketball, "Beer" is another one of those songs that has a somewhat depressing undertone that gets completely lost on most people. In short, a guy can't live without a girl who keeps playing with his heart, so he drinks until it doesn't matter and does it all over again. I like to think the following lyrics could be a poem in and of themselves:
And if I get drunk well, I'll pass out
On the floor now baby
You won't bother me no more
And if you're drinkin' well, you know
That you're my friend and I say
I think I'll have myself a beer
A beer indeed. On a more personal note, I saw Reel Big Fish perform this live quite some time ago and it ended up creating one of the craziest mosh pits I have ever witnessed. Yeah, at a ska show!

LMFAO - Shots

Redfoo and SkyBlu of the recently disbanded LMFAO may legitimately be mentally retarded, but you can't deny these guys love to party. Specifically, they love shots! What kinds of shots? My guess is pretty much anything, but here is a short list of what "Shots" specifically praises:
Jager bombs
Lemon drops
Buttery Nipples
Jell-o Shots
Three Wise Men
Patron (on the rocks)
While perhaps the single most unintelligible song ever written, "Shots" is worth mentioning due to its breadth of scope, enthusiastic praise, and brutal honesty. Oh, and shots.

So there you have it. Those are just three songs about booze with probably thousands more we could cover. Assuming more than three people read this, I may even follow up with this in the future. In the meantime, what are some of your favorite booze-themed songs?


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